Eat more cookies

I get a lot of weird calls from time to time. For some reason, I’m preceived as some kind of “A-Team” for whatever bird problem you might have. On those occasions when I invent advice that actually works, I’m thrilled!

Yesterday a fellow called me out of the blue because he had a hummingbird in his office. He was on the 4th floor of a modern building with a huge atrium, but he didn’t have a window (rats!) and he had no idea how the bird got in there.

My mind raced: How could I actually capture this little bird? If I put a net across the office door, there’d be a good possibility that the bird would zip through and take up permanent residence in the atrium. If I went after it in the office with some kind of butterfly net, the chance of injuring the bird would be really high. But the main problem was that I needed to get that bird outside as quickly as possible, because hummingbirds burn up their energy reserves so quickly.

I instructed the guy to go mix up some sugar and water from his office’s coffee break room. If we could get a shallow dish of nectar I thought, the bird would get some much-needed nourishment and buy me some time to figure out a plan.

I met the man near his office, and he had a Dixie cup full of sugar water. Then we carefully entered his office and I assessed the situation. The bird was too focused on its predicament to notice sustenance in a little white cup, but I could see that it was tiring as it flew from light fixture to door frame to bookshelf, looking for a way out.

I told the man to wait and watch the bird for a while – eventually it would get so tired that he could just grasp it, put its bill in the nectar to let it feed, and then release it outside once it came around. In the end, that’s what happened. After about 5 minutes, the hummingbird (an immature male) slowed enough that I was able to pick him off the light fixture. I dipped his bill into the nectar and he drank with gusto for a few seconds!

Then, as I was taking him outside, he half-closed his eyes and shivered in my hand. Despite how bad he looked at that moment, I still had confidence he’d make it. I opened my hand, and he lay on his back, shivering with his eyes closed while onlookers said “Awww, poor little thing.” Then, just as I said “Hummingbirds will sometimes do this right before th – - – “, he buzzed off my hand, springing instantly back to life, and zipping up to a high branch in the tree overhead.

Godspeed, little friend! Chalk up another one for the A-Team.