Eat more cookies

As the Republican strategy for the 2004 election so brilliantly demonstrated, a candidate who changes position on various issues might as well be discovered with an Al Qaeda membership card.  We Amoronicans are far more interested in a candidate whose brain is a bulwark of idealism - solid and unchanging no matter how loud the cries of dissent - than one who actually considers information from all sides and is willing to change course when the situation calls for it.  John Kerry was the latter in 2004, and it cost him the election (and it cost our country a lot more); George W. Bush epitomizes the former, and we all remember the “political capital” he claimed to earn from that ill-fated election.

Well, the flip-flopping rhetoric has begun in earnest in this current election, but at least this time it applies to both sides.  John McCain is tacking to the right of center while Barack Obama is beginning to zig-zag a course toward the middle, both men striving to be as electable as possible to the largest number of people in the most advantageous states come November.  Who has more to lose? It’s hard to say at this point.  McCain seems to have dumped every part of his persona that made him attractive to oddballs like me.  I wish he’d just say “screw you Republican machine!” and go back to being the self-styled maverick he used to be.  Obama seems to be changing his message from “stick it to the man” to “stick like glue to the man”, and I’m not sure that’s going to work either.  The result of all this strategizing?  Oh I dunno, maybe 25% of eligible voters coming out next fall?

For an excellent guide to the the candidates’ blowin’ in the wind, check out Max Deveson’s article in the BBC.

While birding the Lower Rio Grande Valley a few weeks ago, we visited a number of out-of-the way places where illegal aliens routinely cross the border from Mexico into the United States.  It’s one thing to imagine how difficult that journey must be, but to go there and see the cactus and thorn scrub woodlands through which these people sprint in the dark on the hope of a better life somehow makes their desperation that much more palpable.  At the same time, you are struck by all the nefarious activities happening in the same place - the smuggling of drugs, guns, people.  We saw some houses in the area that looked to be completely surrounded by 8-10′ chain link fencing - folks just get sick and tired of desperate Mexicans running across their lawns in the middle of the night. 
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I’m struggling to understand this whole immigration thing. Maybe some folks out there can help me wrap my head around it.

*Why do they come here? We have jobs to fill. Last time I checked, the unemployment rate in this country was pretty darn low. Anyone reading this note who’d like to give up their current position to be a migrant farm worker, raise your hand. (crickets chirping) That’s what I thought.

*Why do they come here illegally? There must be something in the process of legal immigration that’s broken to make people risk their lives to get here illegally. Where is this bottleneck, and why don’t I ever hear the political pundits discuss this? If all 12 million illegal immigrants had come in legally, would this even be an issue? I suspect it would with a lot of people, ’cause I think a lot of the rhetoric on this issue is pure xenophobic nonsense.

*Spend billions of dollars to build a wall? Great plan. Very well conceived. Why don’t we build a fort too while we’re at it. Construction of this wall will employ hundreds of illegal immigrants over the next few years. Plus, as Penn and Teller illustrated on their TV show “Bullsh*t”, a two-man team can get through (or under or over) the wall with a pair of tin snips in under a minute’s time. Boy, do I feel secure! (And don’t even get me started on the ecological ramifications of this stupid wall.)

*Round ‘em up, send ‘em home, and make them apply for legal status? And this accomplishes what, exactly? What are we looking for, Mexican birth certificates from these people? I wonder how hard it is to get a fake ID in Mexico . . . Plus, while we’re waiting for these people to come back, all our produce will be rotting on the vine. Again, great plan.

*Amnesty, a four-letter word? Why not just create a system for the twelve-freakin’ million illegals in this country now to register with the gov’t and rely on ourselves to keep tabs on these people in the US? Give them a “one strike and you’re deported” policy for a felony crime. Then let’s crack down on employers to make it a seriously risky venture to employ illegals. Once the promise of jobs for illegals dries up, so too will the flood of them across the border.We can learn a lot from the way kids solve intractable problems - there is profound wisdom in a “do-over” sometimes.